You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
