I'm drive I can fine osifer
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
