Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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