goodnight i made you a song goodbye
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
