it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
