My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
