she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
