I seem to have left my pride at pride
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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