Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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