If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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