My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
