Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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