actually, I'm a sock model
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
