Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
