JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
