On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
