I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
