Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
