i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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