I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
