After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
