mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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