Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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