I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
