Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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