I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
