She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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