you turned your livingroom into a bong?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
