I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
