Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
