I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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