We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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