cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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