Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
