Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I still have a little drunk in my system
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
