I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
