i think i recognize dicks better than faces
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
