How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
