i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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