This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
