fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
how can u be prego again
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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