I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize