GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
