Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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