Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
