then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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