Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
