You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
