At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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