google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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