Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
