The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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