He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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