I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
