i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
